The Relative Worthlessness of Intellectuals

Intellectuals.

Can't live with them.

Wouldn't have as many things to make fun of without them; though we could definitely live without them.

I've been thinking about intellectuals lately.

Some time ago, a friend of mine (we'll call him C) came out of the libertarian closet. (This means that he declared himself libertarian, for those of you in Rio Linda.) He did this on Facebook. (Most everything of note happens there.) A discussion spawned on his status update, in which a liberal friend gloated that he was slowly "liberalizing" him. C quickly corrected him. Later on, said liberal friend posted several articles supposedly supporting the notion that liberals are more intelligent than conservatives, and then added that he had never met an "intellectual elite" that was "truly conservative." I had already introduced myself into the discussion at this point, and reintroduced myself in order to bash intellectuals and proclaim them worthless before too much idiocy built up too much steam.

This innocent interaction has had me thinking about intellectuals. It has often been a subject of rumination for me, but not recently, and my mind has enjoyed remaking the acquaintance. I've pondered the statement of this liberal and asked myself, is there such a thing as a conservative intellectual? Even though I am now libertarian, I still keep listening to, reading, and following some of the conservative heavyweights I had previously enjoyed (and still do).

I immediately thought of Bill Buckley, but he's dead, and I'm not sure the deceased count for this kind of census. I thought of several other names, but I wasn't sure that they were intellectuals, because even though they were just as smart, well-thought-out, and researched as intellectuals, they had day jobs in other fields like media, art, or business. (Most of the ones I thought of were in media, because I happen to be a consumer of news and analysis, but, knowing my ignorance to be as big as it is, I'm sure there are others.)

That's when it hit me.

http://i.qkme.me/3v6y82.jpg

Intellectuals aren't good at anything. That's what makes them intellectuals.

Think about it. All they do is sit back and be intellectual, which is essentially mental peacocking. Lesser fowl sit back in awe at how they channel their talents to such useless ends. The intellectuals sit in back offices of universities, sipping coffee, and then go home happy and sanctimonious.

However, if you get an artist who is well-thought-out and researched in his opinions and beliefs (which isn't as hard as intellectuals want you to believe), he's not considered an intellectual, because he channels his mental energies onto canvases, not textbook doorstops or impressing naive do-gooder collegiate coeds. He's considered an artist. Take a thoroughly intelligent and bright man, either self-taught (as some self-proclaimed intellectuals are) or university educated, who is good at presentation and he becomes a talk show host or a talking head, and he is no longer an intellectual, but an entertainer. The list could go on.

The lesson one derives therefrom is that intellectuals are intellectuals because they aren't really good at anything, so they sit back and opine. This is what makes them intellectuals--their relative worthlessness.

So, if it really is true that there's no such thing as a conservative intellectual, by Jove, it's a compliment paid to their movement.

That being said... be libertarian!